Stylists: Get Out of Your Own Way

Morgan Franklin: Welcome to the
Aspiring Stylists Podcast with

Tracey Franklin. Where to begin,
grow and aspire to become the

best stylist you can be. Whether
you're thinking about becoming a

stylist opening a salon, or
developing your skills as an

experienced stylist the next
step of your beauty career

starts here. Each week we'll
discuss strategic ways to

design, plan and execute on
becoming a stylist that excels

behind the chair and above the
bottom line. Here's your host,

Tracey Franklin.

Tracey Franklin: A lot of things
have shaped me as a stylist, one

of them being my upbringing, the
type of home that I grew up in,

my parents were divorced, and
they definitely had their share

of issues, not a lot of
encouragement or direction in

life. And I didn't place much
value on education, like I was

never told, reach for the stars,
get it girl you can be whatever

you want to be when you grow up,
that was just not the type of

environment that I grew up in.

So I didn't know I got married
young and I had children. And I

really felt like that would be
my path, I didn't really see

much outside of that. I couldn't
believe that at some point I

would ever be successful at
anything. And most households,

one income just doesn't cut it,
you know, you need more than

one, sometimes two doesn't feel
like enough. But in our

situation, we had just moved out
to Tennessee from California,

and we're really trying to make
a go of it in this new

environment. But you know, it's
really hard to shake your

childhood. If you've ever tried
to overcome some of the crap

your parents have put you
through, then you understand

where I'm coming from. It's
really hard to set goals for

yourself when no one has ever
set a goal for you. So not

really having a lot of direction
not knowing what I wanted to do

with my life. I had two small
children, I had had a really bad

incident with a babysitter which
had just scared me to death. And

I just couldn't even imagine
leaving my children with someone

else. So I went to work in their
preschool, it seemed like a good

fit at the time. It definitely
wasn't. It wasn't a great time,

you know, trying to spread
yourself too thin. As far as

patients go with kids, it
doesn't leave you a lot for your

own family at the end of the
day. So it helped financially.

But it was really, really
straining on my relationship

with my husband at the time. And
with my children as well. I

didn't place much value on
myself outside of motherhood,

that was the only thing in my
life that I had ever done that I

was really proud of. It's the
only thing that I felt good at.

It's the only way I felt that I
had achieved anything. A lack of

belief in yourself is really
hard to shake. It takes a lot of

work to believe you deserve more
to believe that you have a place

in society of worth. You know,
if you've ever grown up in a

home where your parents didn't
celebrate you and encourage you

to reach for the stars and chase
your dreams, then you know that

you have to be that person for
yourself. And that's really hard

to do. When you're experiencing
massive unworthiness. That is a

huge challenge. I still struggle
with that there is no amount of

achievements in my career that I
could possibly get that just

erase years of self doubt, there
is nothing that you can do that

just makes all of that go away.

But changing your mindset
certainly helps. And just

realizing that you're not going
to let people speak things over

you. You know, I worked for
someone one time that didn't

always encourage me as much as I
really needed as an early

stylist, and would say things
sometimes that would really just

like, ah, would knock the wind
out of me. And if you've ever

worked for someone like that,
then you know, it's really hard

to go in there feeling confident
and feeling ready to deliver

great service to a guest when
you just feel like no matter

what you do, it's not going to
be good enough. You really have

to change your mindset you have
to get out of that way of

thinking. And that takes a lot
of work. It takes a lot of you

know getting out of your own way
and believing for more for

yourself and believing that you
can do it even when you're not

getting that support externally.

You have to do it for yourself.

Procrastination is one of the
biggest roadblocks for me. I

have always been a
procrastinator, like I just

cannot come out of it sometimes
and I don't know why. Like I

have literally seen the demise
of so many goals that I've made

in my life because it just can't
take that first step. I just

can't make myself get up off the
couch. I can't make myself put

on those running shoes. You
know, procrastination man, it

will really really set you back
and will really slow you down.

But big things happen when you
start taking action. All you

have to do is take one step
forward and see how that feels.

And then take another step. Step
forward. How does that feel? No

one has ever regretted it, no
one has ever been like, Man, I

wish I would have procrastinated
a little bit longer, I wish I

would have waited to chase that
dream just a little bit longer.

That's just not something that
people think, you know, take the

first step. We don't do things
sometimes not because we don't

want to, but because we simply
don't know how we simply don't

know what that first step looks
like. And so we just don't ever

start like and we don't know,
then we just don't ever start,

stop talking yourself out of
taking that first step, take the

course get the certification,
like there are only good things

on the other side of the
journey. But it's not always

enough. Sometimes knowing that
is not always enough, we really,

really have to focus on just one
step at a time. One of my

biggest challenges has always
been on social media. It just

feels like so much work. I don't
know where to start. But at the

end of the day, you're not
getting out of it in this

industry, like everyone
listening to me right now might

as well except that social media
is by far the biggest platform

of recognition, it helps you
locally, it helps you

nationally, it's a way for your
clients to really look into your

life and look into your career.

See if they like what they see
and take action. You know, it's

just there's no getting out of
it. And honestly, any industry

at this point, I don't really
see an industry out there that

doesn't benefit from social
media exposure. But for me, it

just felt like a daunting task.

Like I didn't feel like I had
what it took to be interesting

on social media. You know, I
just thought, why would anyone

care about what I have to say?

My skills are average, why would
anyone want to look at that? I'm

here to tell you guys, that is
not true. People do care. And

people do want to see what
you're doing behind the chair.

They do. It's how they find you.

People don't even hardly look at
websites anymore, like social

media is where it's at. And I
know I'm getting off on a whole

Bender about that. But I'm just
sharing my point of view with

you on that. And what a huge
challenge that was for me. And

when I finally got out of my own
way. And I finally started

making the silly little videos.

And I finally started trying
harder to capture not just the

end result. But the process of
the service, I started getting a

lot of encouragement, I started
getting a lot of added girls,

and it felt amazing. And I just
thought to myself, Why did I

ever think this sucked? Like,
why did I ever think this wasn't

a worthy thing to do? I got
serious about it. I did my

research, I even hired some
help. It took me a while I had

to do things wrong for a really
long time before I realized that

there are people out there that
do this for a living that can

really help advance you. But I
just didn't know, I didn't know

that that was even a thing. So
now it's just another facet of

the job. You know, it's just one
more thing that I do. It's like

making sure I have the products
that I need. It's making sure

that my book is scheduled
properly. And now I just you

know, I make the videos, I take
the pictures, I do what it takes

to make sure that I'm moving
myself forward in that

direction. And I even enjoy it a
little now, you know, I wouldn't

say a lot. Sometimes it just
feels a bit overwhelming. But I

am even learning to enjoy it
now. So that feels nice. You all

know you're never really done
with the beauty industry.

There's always something new to
learn. There's always something

exciting, you know, some new
trend, and that can feel very

fun. And it can also feel very
overwhelming at times. There are

a lot of really talented veteran
stylists out there that are

putting out great content, they
really want to help. I feel like

in this industry more than a lot
of others. There's a lot of

support for stylist that are
just coming up and coming out.

And you know, trying to make a
successful path out of this. And

I feel like those veteran
stylists have a real heart for

that I know I do. 22 years in
the industry has taught me a ton

of things. And I'm excited to
pass those along. It's not like

let's hoard it all for ourselves
because you really can't. It's

so much more beneficial to share
it and inspire other people. You

can draw a lot of inspiration
from people that have been where

you are that have overcome the
challenges that you're walking

through right now. And you
should lean on them. You should

lean on them in any way that you
can, because most people will

always become more successful in
spite of their challenges. I

don't know anybody that's just
got this precious little life

that's got a bow tied around it
that just never they just never

suffered a day in their life.

They never had any challenges.

The challenges are what show you
what you're made of. They're

what gives you like the badass
or II that you need to overcome

things in this life because this
industry right here has the

power to make you feel like a
rock star or a defeated little

colorist that wants to crawl
into fetal position. because

things didn't turn out, right,
and things are not always going

to turn out, right. So you
really need that person in your

life, that mentor in your life
or mentors that are constantly

helping you balance that out
that are saying, Hey, I remember

that, I went through that, and I
survived that. And you can, too.

I mean, I still struggle, I
don't know that I'm ever going

to feel like I'm here. You know,
I don't know that anyone ever

feels that way. I love my
clients. I love what I do. But

it still requires a lot of you,
you are basically a sounding

board for every client that ever
sits in your chair. If you're a

salon owner or an independent
stylist, then you are basically

a sounding board for everyone
that works for you or with you.

You carry people's energy around
with you. And it's heavy, you

know, when it can feel very
overwhelming at times. For me,

the key is taking care of
myself, it's making sure that I

find the balance, it's making
sure that I spend time outside

with the sun on my face, walking
my dog. It's singing and

dancing. For me, there are a lot
of things that I do that help me

balance out the energy that I
carry around from other people

and you know, making room for my
own energy. My energy is super

important. That's also what they
come for. You know, they come

for what I have to give back to
the situation. Have fun. You

know, fun is one of those things
that are easily you know, nixed

out of the lifestyle out of the
schedule. Yeah, I was definitely

gonna have some fun today. But
instead, I'm going to work hard.

I'm going to get this last thing
on the list checked off. But at

the end of the day, it really is
all about balance. It's one of

the main ways you can get out of
your way is not to give all of

your energy to one thing. Make
sure you spread it around and

make sure that you save some for
yourself.

Morgan Franklin: Thank you for
joining us on this episode of

The Aspiring Stylist Podcast
with Tracey Franklin. If you

enjoyed listening and you want
to hear more, make sure you

subscribe on Apple Podcast,
Spotify or wherever you find

your podcasts. The Aspiring
Stylist Podcast with Tracey

Franklin is a Morgan Franklin
Production. Today's episode was

written and produced by Morgan
Franklin editing and post

production by Mike Franklin.

Want to find out more about
Tracey and the Aspiring Barber

and Beauty Academy go to
aspirebarberandbeauty.com

Stylists: Get Out of Your Own Way
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